A Guardian for a Guardian
by Kime Tara
Summary: [Complete] Wakka:Lulu:Auron - a set of interludes throughout the game from Lulu's POV.
1. Prelude

**Prelude**

By kimetara

1st In-game POV

Disclaimer: FFX isn't mine.

          It's funny.

          I'm here in Guadosalam, looking at the Farplane.  Or more accurately, looking at Wakka, and Chappu, at the Farplane.

          It...hurts, a little, seeing him.  Knowing, for sure, that he's gone.  But the worst of my pain has already passed, and as I told Tidus a few minutes ago, it simply makes it clear that we cannot be together.  In truth, I feel much better.

          Tidus.  He said that maybe it was time to move on.  Maybe it is.

          But then again, he also suggested me being with Wakka.  Wakka!  Ridiculous.  Yes, we do "get along great," I suppose.  We are almost always together, talking or simply standing next to each other.  And Wakka...Wakka knows me.  Even when I'm sharp, it never bothers him.  Sometimes, that isn't a good thing.

          I would presume I know him too.  Although, he isn't difficult to know.  Wakka is easy to read – loyal, honest, cheerful, at times rather thick-headed and a touch arrogant.  But he isn't an idiot, as one might expect at first glance.  Wakka is quite capable of thinking...unless it concerns the Al Bhed.  I sigh.  He would be so upset if he knew Rikku was an Al Bhed.  I can't even imagine how he'd react to Yuna.

          That big-headed dolt.  How can he not realize what Rikku is?  I place my hand against my forehead, shaking my head.  He becomes furious so easily concerning them, and yet he can't even recognize one right under his nose.  Well, he will have to notice sooner or later.

          I know the reason he can't stand them is because he blames their machina for Chappu's death.  Even so, his fury concerning them is unreasonable.  He won't admit it though, stubborn as he is, and without admittance, there can be no resolution.

          I look back up at them.  Wakka's standing there, talking to Chappu.  Chappu...he doesn't answer.  Doesn't move.  Doesn't respond at all; his image simply stand there, watching.

          Perhaps it's just as well the dead don't respond.  If they did, doubtless many would be unwilling to leave this place.

          It is enough, for me to see Chappu.  To know that he is truly gone.  Now, I can accept his death, rather than having to always convince myself.

          I never told anybody.  I'm sure that to everybody else, it seems as if what I wanted was for Wakka to admit, once and for all, that Chappu was dead.  That hope in him living was foolish.  In truth...it was myself that needed admittance.

          Wakka knew.  Beyond him...perhaps Sir Auron could tell, but Wakka knew for certain.  I think that was why he never became angry, or even hurt.  He just took it in stride.  How like him.  When he decides he likes somebody, he likes them fully, no matter the consequences.  The same for disliking, unfortunately.

          When Luzzu told him about Chappu before Operation Mi'ihan, I was...surprised at his reaction.  Not that he hit Luzzu, may the Crusader rest with Yevon, but that the first thing Wakka told him was about me.

          He thought of me first, about how hurt I was.  About how Chappu was planning to...to propose to me.  I would have believed his first thought would've been for Chappu, or himself.  Mine was.

          I'm sorry.  But when Luzzu first told me he was responsible for Chappu joining the Crusaders, my first thought was of Chappu, of how handsome he looked, even as he was leaving.  Of how full of life he had been, always teasing and playful.  And of how he had always been able to make me feel special.

          After that, I thought of Wakka, and then I slapped Luzzu a second time.  He just barely escaped having Fire cast on him.

          Chappu...you were never intimidated by me.  All the others were, of my sharp tongue, my serious manner, my knowledge and power with the black arts.  You weren't.  You were teasing me from the start; you never held me at a respectable distance.  You were willing to become close to me, and to let me get close to you.

          I loved you for that.

          Not even Wakka treats me as you did.  As if I wasn't something to be respected and wary of.  As if I'm just another normal person.  They all give me my distance gladly, unwilling to intrude.  Wakka tries sometimes, to become closer to me, but he respects me too much.  Not that that's a bad thing; I thrive on the respect of others.  But sometimes...it'd be nice, not to always be raised to the status of "untouchable."

          Of course, I know Wakka isn't you, Chappu.  He doesn't tease me so much, and he isn't as playful of a flirt as you were.  He's much more protective; he always seems to think of me first.  Hmph.  As if I can't take care of myself.  I'm honestly beginning to think he's memorized every magic-resistant creature out there; he always seems to know when we meet one – "Lu, leave these to me!"  Be my guest, Wakka.

         ...I'm not really very annoyed.  In truth, I...appreciate his warnings, so I don't waste my energy, of course.  And...it is nice, knowing that he cares.  Naturally, it stands unsaid that I'm quite capable on my own.

          "Hey Lu!"

          Well, speak of Sin.  I blink, my eyes focusing on the figure before me.  "Hello Wakka."

          "So, uh...watcha thinking about?"  He glances away, scratching the back of his head.  "Chappu keeps flickering in and out in front of you.  You okay?" he asks, a little quieter.

          I look out, across the Farplane.  Of course.  One has to be careful of their thoughts in this place.  "I'm fine."

          Wakka moves to stand next to me.  "That's good."  He places his arms behind his head, stretching slightly.  "Well Lu, you were right.  Guess he isn't going to pop back," he shrugs.  "It was a nice thought though, ya?"

          "If you think so."  It wasn't for me.  It made it that much harder to let Chappu go.

          "No, huh?" he asks ruefully.  "Sorry."

          I turn to look at him, surprised.  He might as well have read my thoughts.  Thinking back, I guess it's not unusual, but I never took notice of it until now.

          "What?"  Wakka looks at me and grins.  I quickly avert my gaze back to the Farplane.

          "Nothing."

          "Nothing?  Nothing usually means a pretty big something, ya?  At least with you."

          "What's that supposed to mean?" I snap.

          "Nothing."  He grins at me.

          A childish response.  I merely cross my arms and don't answer.  And yet...a part of me wishes I could be so childish.  That I could reach out to people the way he does.

          I never could though.  I have always been afraid of being rejected.  And after Chappu...

          He's in front of me.  In my reverie, I don't even notice how I'm staring at him, unchanged from the day he left Besaid.  I feel so odd, as if I could touch him if I reached out far enough.

          "Hey!"  A hand falls gently on my shoulder, causing me to start and regain my precarious balance.  "Maybe you shouldn't stand so close to the edge, Lu.  You almost fell off."  He sounds so concerned...well of course.  We are floating in the middle of the Farplane.  If you fall here, you'll never come back.

          I straighten slowly before allowing my gaze to meet with his.  "Thank you."

          He waves my thanks aside.  "Sure, no problem.  Just make sure to stay in this plane, alright?"

          I can't help a small smile, but it fades quickly.  I turn around instead to find Yuna and Tidus standing together.  A sigh escapes me, watching them.

          "He really is clueless, isn't he?"

          Wakka moves to stand next to me again, both of us watching the young pair.  "Yeah.  Y'know...do you think...he really could be...?"

          "There is a definite possibility."  Tidus was too unaware, too awkward with our ideals, and he really didn't know anything.  "He shouldn't have become a guardian."

          "Wha-?"  Wakka turns his head to stare at me, disbelief etched on his face.  "What do you mean?  He's a great fighter, and you know Yuna's happy when he's around!"

          "Yes, he keeps Yuna happy.  And that's the only reason I consented to him joining."  My gaze locks with Wakka's.  "But he doesn't know.  He thinks that when we defeat Sin, it'll be over, and we'll all be able to go on happily with our lives."  I turn my face away, watching them again.  "He shouldn't have joined without knowing the full implications."

          I could hear Wakka next to me, clearing his throat as he searches for something to say.  3...2...1...

          "You never know, maybe he's right, and after this we'll all go home happy.  At any rate, a little optimism never hurt, ya?"

          "There's optimism, and then there's ignorance."  My expression hardens slightly.  I know Wakka's still looking at me.  I can feel it.  "You never talked to him."

          He shakes his head.  "No.  I thought Sir Auron did."

          Sir Auron.  Yes, I would have expected Sir Auron to tell Tidus about the risks – and the expected outcome – of being a guardian.  He didn't, so I'll assume that Sir Auron wanted Tidus to join badly enough to hide a few truths.  Still...  "It was your responsibility."

          "Eh...sorry.  Things just got in the way, you know?"

          Sorry.  Wakka apologizes to me so much.  I know I shouldn't be so hard on him.  And with the fiends attacking the stadium after the game, it was understandable that the matter would have slipped his mind.

          "It's alright.  For now, I trust Sir Auron's judgment."  But I still should to do something about Tidus and Yuna, I think, observing the two of them.

          "Hey, don't worry."  I look up, surprised once again.  Wakka's still watching me?  "Let them work it out, ya?  Neither of them are stupid.  Not like they're gonna go fooling behind our backs or something."

          "I know."  I sigh and shake my head.  "But this will complicate things."

          "You think so?  I don't know, it doesn't seem so bad."  He smiles at me.  "But, you know everything."

          "Not everything.  Not even close."  Even so, his compliment is pleasing.

          "More than me, then.  Hey, who's that woman they're looking at?"  Wakka peers, trying to get a better picture.  "She's pretty."

          I feel a tinge of annoyance, though I'm not sure why.  "Why don't we go see, instead of standing here gawking?" I snap, already striding away.

          "Huh?  Lu?"  He swiftly catches up to me.  I can hear the question in his voice: _what did I do now?_

          "It's...nothing."

          "Uhh...okay...whatever you say," is his doubtful response.

          I'm sorry, Wakka.  I don't know everything, but I do know getting along isn't enough.  It isn't.  And it would never work, anyway, for us to be together on this pilgrimage.  It would be a distraction from guarding Yuna.

          Maybe...if we survive this...I'll think about it.

~~~~~

          "I think I forgot something in Guadosalam."

          "Nice knowing you."

          "Okay, okay!  I'll go!"

          Hmm.  Poor girl.  She must have had something terrible happen to her when she was young to fear the Thunder Plains so much.

          And of course, Sir Auron, as calm and indifferent as ever.  And people think I'm grumpy.

          Although...Sir Auron does seem more stoic than usual.  I allow myself to drop to the back of the group, until I find myself next to him.

          "Is something wrong?"

          "No."

          "You're a good liar," I remark.  "And of course, your reputation would ensure instant belief in whatever you say."  His almost never altering voice tone is also an asset, but there's no need to tell him that.

          "Thanks," he replies dryly.

          "So, what's the matter?"

          "It's none of your concern."  Hmm, at least he admitted something is troubling him.

          We walk on silently a little further, as I consider whether to reveal what I know or not.  In the end, I decide to risk it.

          "What pained you at the Farplane?"  A strike of lightning occurs over our heads in that instant.  What a dismal omen, I think, amused.

          He stiffens, just barely, but I've had long practice in observation.  "Since when did you ask so many questions?"

          "Since I've been trying to understand something."  Had anybody decided to drop in, they would think this is a perfectly amiable conversation, we were speaking so nonchalantly.

          "You wouldn't understand this."

          "Try me."

          He stares down at me, as if surprised by my casual challenge.  In truth, the assumption I wouldn't understand irks me.  I consider it to be an insult to my intelligence.

          "Maybe later," he says at last.  Very well then.  I'll wait.

          I nod and move back to my place beside Yuna.

          _Auron's eyes followed Lulu's graceful form as she went to Yuna's side.  "So..." he mused.  "She suspects.  Unsurprising; I figured she'd be the first to wonder.  Hmph."  He quickened his pace slightly to match the group's.  "She's not the type to gossip.  Still, I'll have to watch her."_

AN: Hmm...this will be a bunch of in-game interludes from Lulu's POV.  I know, there isn't much call for such things, but...  *shrug*  Ah well, reviews are very welcome!


	2. Leap in the Dark

**Leap in the Dark**

By kimetara

2nd In-game POV

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy X belongs to Squaresoft, which as you can all see is not my name.

          I ride quietly on the machina behind Sir Auron as we follow the tracks Tidus and Rikku left.  I wanted to ride with Tidus, or with Rikku, to apologize for Wakka's behavior, but they had ridden together before I'd gotten a chance.

          At least Tidus would be sure to make Rikku feel welcome.  They have been growing quite close lately; I just hope that no hard feeling towards Wakka would grow between them.  I sigh, closing my eyes.  Wakka always did have to be so stubborn.

          Well, no use wasting an opportunity.  I've noticed that ever since the Thunder Plains, Sir Auron's been observing me often.  And I am sitting right behind him, holding lightly onto his waist.  Perhaps I should explain.  Since there were only three of the snow machinas, and Kimahri had taken one, we were forced to pair up.  As I mentioned before, Tidus and Rikku rode together, which left Sir Auron and I.

          "Do you consider me capable of understanding yet?"

          "Not yet."

          I leave it be, feeling like a small child asking to open an early birthday present and being constantly told to wait.  Or maybe...I'm not quite sure myself, whether I want to know.  No matter the reason, it's almost certainly not pleasant.

          "Does he know the way?" Sir Auron asks suddenly.  I pause, considering his question.

          "You mean Wakka?  He's been to Bevelle."

          Sir Auron only nods and continues driving.

          "What do you think of Rikku?" I ask, more for the sake of breaking the awkward silence than out of curiosity.

          "Why?"

          I shrug.  "Just curious." 

          I can feel his skepticality.  "Do you believe I can't be merely curious?" I inquire.

          "No.  But I believe you'll use the information you gain by being curious."

          "Hmm.  I can't deny that."  My tone is lighter, slightly teasing.  "Still, it would only be for my personal comfort to know your opinion on the girl."

          "She's Rikku."

          I raise an eyebrow, even though I know he can't see me.  "My, descriptive, aren't you?"

          "If necessary."

          I sigh and shake my head.  Why did I even bother?

          "What do you think of her?" he asks back a few minutes later.

          "Rikku?"  I consider.  "She's...fun to be with.  A good person.  And after listening to her and Wakka, I'm beginning to think that maybe the Al Bhed ideals...aren't so bad."  I'm saying too much.  Something about this man makes it easy for me to pour out my thoughts.  I will have to be careful.

          "I see."

          "Did I disappoint?"

          "No.  What made you think that?"

          I watch the snow fly by on the sidelines.  "You were very noncommittal, that's all."

          He seems to be surprised by my comment, and muses over it for a short while.  "That's...just how I am."

          "I understand."  Suddenly, the ridiculousness of the conversation struck me, and I couldn't help a small laugh.

          "What is it?"

          "We should make a sphere of us talking to each other.  This sounds terribly awkward," I smile, my voice warmer than usual.

          He allows a small chuckle.  "I suppose it does."

          "I don't believe either of us are what would be considered as talkers.  Perhaps in the future we could...practice?"  I can feel him hesitating, so I add quickly, "A better communication between guardians would certainly aid the pilgrimage."  If there is anything that would get Sir Auron to agree, it would be the pilgrimage.  At times, it seems he cares more for the pilgrimage than Yuna herself.

          He still hesitates, but nods slowly.  The Macalania Temple is up ahead, and there's no more time for talk, so we dismount and enter.

~~~~~

          So, here we are.  Beneath the lake, after killing Maester Seymour.  This is an unexpected turn of events.

          I'm slightly surprised at myself, at how calm I am.  Perhaps it is because of the soothing Hymn of the Fayth.  Or perhaps because I have suffered from worse emotional harm.  Already, I have begun to rationalize the circumstances.  We killed a maester, and would undoubtedly be hunted down as traitors of Yevon.  Yevon guards the temples, and not having access to temples means not having access to Aeons, which are needed for the pilgrimage.  There are two choices then – face punishment, or end the pilgrimage.  Perhaps not even two choices; they may not allow Yuna to continue, although it's very rare to hear of a summoner being held back.

          Well, there's nothing to do but wait.  Sir Auron and I stand silently, watching for Tidus' recovery.  Rikku and Kimahri are watching Yuna.  Wakka...needs some time to himself.

          Tidus stirs, then runs off to find Yuna.  Sir Auron and I exchange glances before departing from our posts.  We both know this will not be easy.

          "Yuna!"  

          We all rush to where Tidus' voice came from, now that Yuna is awake.

          She explains her reasoning for marrying the late Maester Seymour, and I must admit, I'm not shocked.  I suspected something of the sort.

          "Enough.  Dwelling in the past is futile."  Sir Auron's voice cuts harshly into Yuna's apology.

          "Hey!  You don't have to say it like that!" Rikku protests.  I silently agree, but wish she hadn't spoken out.

          "You want to waste time listening to her regrets?" he demands.  Inwardly, I wince.  His words are true, yet...even I would not speak so coldly.

          Rikku turns to Yuna.  "You don't have to say it like that..."

          "Our immediate concern is Yuna's pilgrimage.  Are you willing to go on?" he asks Yuna.

          "Yes," she nods slightly as emphasis, then pauses.  "But then, do you think Yevon will allow it?"

          Sir Auron turns away.  "The fayth are the ones that give power to the summoners.  Not the temples or the teachings.  If the temples try to stop us," he clenches a fist, "then we will defy Yevon if we must."

          "Sir Auron?!" I gasp, hearing similar exclamations from Tidus and Rikku.

          Wakka shakes his head and argues.  He is such a devout follower, although I do agree with him.  "But still, we have transgressed and must face our punishment," I affirm.

          Yuna makes the decision to go to Bevelle and explain what happened to Maester Mika, which is accepted, even by Sir Auron.  Fairly soon, the conversation takes a light-hearted turn – impossible to avoid with Tidus and Rikku.  They're quite comforting, in their own way.  I almost let a laugh escape as Rikku talks of Sir Auron running off.

          "Man... How can you all act like nothing's wrong?  Must got nerves of steel or something," Wakka complains.

          "You're too edgy. Listen to the hymn and calm down," I chide gently.  I know going against Yevon is hitting Wakka much harder than it's hitting me.  When Chappu died, I turned to him, Yuna, and Kimahri.  He turned to Yevon.  I to friends, and he to faith.  One would think the opposite, wouldn't they?

          Tidus and Sir Auron talk quietly to each other, while Rikku seems to be arguing with Kimahri, and Yuna laughing softly watching them.  Wakka and I simply listen.

          Abruptly, a strange sense of dread fills all of us.

          "The singing stopped," I announce quietly.  Something must have disturbed the fayth...

          Suddenly, the ground shakes, and I nearly fall.

          "There's something here!" Wakka yells.

          "The ground!"  Sir Auron drops on one knee and pushes some of the debris on the floor away, revealing a floor of thick ice.  Beneath it...

          "Sin!?" Yuna gasps.  

          Sin opens his mouth, or what could be considered a mouth.  "The toxin!  Watch out!" I cry.  Yuna!  Where's Yuna?

          White fills my vision, then black.

          "Ugh..."  I awaken to the feeling of being prodded gently.  Slowly, I open my eyes to little green fuzz, and push myself up.  My Cactuar Scope gazes up at me, as if checking that I'm okay, and then hops obligingly into my arms.

          "Where are we?" I ask aloud, looking around.  "Yuna...?  Where's Yuna?"  Talking to a doll may be strange, but they can be quite intelligent.  The Cactuar Scope shakes its head.  I sigh.  I've lost her...I can't believe...

          My doll is wiggling in my arms impatiently.  I can see it, at least, finds the desert welcoming.

          "No," I tell it, "we're supposed to stay in one place if we get separated."

          It stops wiggling sulkily.  I relax my hold automatically, and suddenly, it jumps from my arms and starts running across the sand.  Ten feet away, it stops, turns around, and waits for me.

          "Why, you willful little thing!" I place my hand on my hip.  "Come back here!"  It shakes its head.  After five minutes, I sigh again and trek along towards it, and it scoots away.  "Alright, we'll go look for the others," I call out.  My doll stops then and lets me catch up to it, and I scoop it up in my arms.

          Defeated in judgment by a doll.  I shake my head, what was I coming to?  Well, at least the dolls have a tendency to be right.

          Now to find Yuna.  I have to find Yuna.  A guardian is nothing without her summoner, and I won't fail again!  But all I can see is sand, and more sand, and what looks like bits of machina.  I struggle along through the dunes, eventually getting the hang of walking without sinking.  At least the sun doesn't bother me – living in Besaid and using fire magic have made me almost invulnerable to heat.  Or to any sort of weather, for that matter.  Where is Yuna?

          My Cactuar Scope squeaks a warning, and I look up to see three machinas rise out of the dunes.

          "Wonderful," I mutter, before summoning a Thundara spell.  The machina falls apart, but two more are waiting.  I cast another Thundara, get electrocuted, and use Thundara again, and the last two fall apart.

          The minute that battle is over, a shrieking cry fills my ears, and I turn to see a humongous bird swooping towards the ground.  It stops, in the air, and in the sand before it there's a light blue twinkle.  The Brotherhood, Tidus!

         I pick up my skirt and run towards him as he attacks the bird.  The bird attacks him back, and he stumbles.  A flash of red catches my eye as it joins the blue sparkle, and attacks the bird as well.  Sir Auron, no doubt.

         Almost there.  Thundara is still racing through my body, and without hesitation I release it on the creature, which my Cactuar Scope says is called Zu.  "Everyone alright?" I ask when I get there.  The two nod.

          Zu is beaten fairly easily between the three of us, and Tidus braces himself on his knees.

          "The others?" he asks.

          My heart sinks; I was hoping she had been with them.  I shake my head.  "Haven't found them yet.  We're supposed to stay in one place if we get split up."

         "Wait here if you want.  He's not."  Tidus runs after Sir Auron, who has indeed already began walking away.

          "Stubborn," I sigh.  My Cactuar Scope squeaks smugly.  I ignore my doll and stride as quickly as my dress will allow to catch up with the two.

          We walk for about an hour, and even I am beginning to feel uncomfortable.  Tidus stumbles, and I kneel down to help him up.

          "Are you okay?" I inquire, a far cry from my original 'Don't slow us down'.  My opinion of Tidus has risen considerably since then.  "You seem a bit flushed."  An understatement, I'm not sure whether it's heat or sunburn.  Sir Auron stops to watch us, and I wonder how he could be so cool wearing black leather and a coat in the middle of the desert.

          "I'm fine, let's just find Yuna."  Tidus straightens and continues walking.  I raise an eyebrow at his back, then at Sir Auron.  He simply ignores me and turns back around as Tidus struggles after him.  I frown and cast a small Water spell over Tidus' head, careful not to hit the blond himself.

          "Whoa!" he yelps as water splashes over his body, but grins.  "Thanks, Lulu."

          "You're welcome."  I almost laugh as I watch him shake his head like a shaggy-haired dog.

          "Hurry up.  This is no playtime," Sir Auron's voice cuts sharply.  I nearly start, and my gaze automatically whips over to his stern form.

          "We're coming, hold your horses," Tidus yells back before climbing the sand dune.  I follow silently behind.  Horses?  What are horses?

          About fifteen minutes later, we come upon a small tent, and Wakka sheltering beneath it.  At least he had the sense to stay in one spot – although I see the logic in us searching, as somebody would have to be moving around to find anybody.

          "Wakka!  You alone?" Tidus yells.  Wakka just nods distractedly.

          "Mmmhmm."  He takes a quick look at us.  "Where's Yuna?"

          I glance at Tidus, who glances back.  Sir Auron says nothing.

          "Dammit!  First I lose Yuna, then I'm ambushed by machina!"  He kicks the metal near the tent.  "Great day I'm having."

          I give Wakka an irritated look.  I hate it when he gets like this; he can act so childish when he's upset.  "If it makes you happier, the rest of us aren't doing any better."

          He gives me a somewhat contrite look and mutters.

          "Enough.  There's no time to waste," Sir Auron orders, already set to leave.

          "Right."  Tidus does his trademark fist, and we continue on.

          Five minutes later, "...Wakka."

          "Hmm?"  He looks at me.

          "Don't be angry with Rikku.  If you're angry with me for not telling you, fine.  But she's a kind person."

          "Yeah right," he says derisively.  "She's Al Bhed!  She uses forbidden machina, she goes against the teachings of Yevon!  A traitor!"

          "Are we not traitors as well?"  I shake my head before he can answer.  "Nevermind.  For now, let's concentrate on finding Yuna."

          He's silent for a few seconds.  "Lu...you're not...you don't agree with her, right?"

          I continue walking and don't answer.

AN: Oh wow, I actually got reviews!  *shocked*  Thank you very much.  As for the end pairing...well, you'll see.  

Reviews are very much appreciated!


	3. The Trials

**The Trials**

By kimetara

3rd In-game POV

Disclaimer: Eesh, are you really going to sue me?  Really?  You sure?  If you're THAT concerned about legal matters, erm, maybe a new hobby is in order.  Ah well, if you're _sure_ you care that much...  I do not own Final Fantasy X.

          A flying ship...amazing.  It's wonderful and thrilling to see the land from such heights...  I press one hand against the glass as I look out the window, my Cactuar Scope peering out from my other arm.

          "Aye, Lu."  I turn my head to see Wakka standing nearby with a somewhat sheepish expression.

          "What did you do now?" I ask resignedly.  The recent happenings – between Yuna being kidnapped and Home destroyed – have taken too much of my energy for me to engage in idle talk.  Much better to get straight to the point.

          "Uh...I feel kinda bad for Rikku, you know?"  He spreads his hands helplessly.  "I mean, with the Guado attacking and blowing Home up..."

          "And you finally realize you weren't helping matters by your racial prejudice," I finish dryly.  "Well, I'm glad it's managed to sink in, Wakka.  Even if it did take seeing a young girl's home and life being burnt to the ground."

          "Aw, c'mon Lu!"  His eyes drop to the ground.  "I already feel bad enough, ya."

          I observe him for a moment, then sigh.  "So apologize to her."

          "Err..." he glances at where Rikku's sitting, "she's kinda mad at me right now."

          "Naturally."  I return to my window.  "I saw you trying to talk to her earlier.  Just give her some time, Wakka.  It's only been a few hours, after all."

          "Yeah, you're right..."  He rubs the back of his neck and sighs.

          "Don't worry.  I'm sure she'll forgive you; Rikku is very open-hearted," I reassure him quietly.

          "I hope so."  Wakka takes up a position next to me and crosses his arms, also looking out the window.  "I can't believe the Guado would do that," he says quietly after a short while.  "What were they thinking?"

          "...I'm not sure," I reply slowly.  "At first, I thought they had found out Yuna was being kept there, and were seeking revenge for Maester Seymour's death.  But there's no way they could have found out so quickly..."

          "Eh..." he tilts his head upwards, his brows furrowing in concentration.  I raise an eyebrow and half-smile.

          "Remember Wakka, imagination isn't your strong point," I tease gently.  He is actually a very good strategist – undoubtedly from being a captain in blitzball – but this sort of analyzing and critical thinking are _my_ fortes.

          "You're cruel, Lu," he tugs lightly on my braids and grins at me.  I give a small smile back, but it fades quickly.  There's something else he hasn't told me. 

          "What's wrong?"

          "Huh?"  He looks surprised, as if he doesn't know what I'm talking about.  Subtlety isn't his strong point either.

          "Don't act clueless.  What's wrong?"  I know he's upset about something.  I can guess what it is too.  "Yevon?"

          He nods.  "I never thought they'd do something like that, y'know?  Yevon's supposed to be atonement for our sins, not making new ones!  Maybe Maester Seymour taught the Guado-"

          "Maester Seymour," I interrupt softly, my eyes widening slightly.  Maester Seymour...it's impossible.  They would never...

          "Lu?"  Wakka's giving me a quizzical look.  I swiftly shake my head.

          "It's nothing."  It's nothing.  It has to be.  "I don't understand what's happening either, but I'm beginning to see that Yevon isn't all we thought it was."  I close my eyes.  "As Sir Auron said, we will go against Yevon if necessary.  For Yuna."

          His response is silence.  And then, "...man.  I wish this never happened, ya.  This pilgrimage is something I never wanted to do," he mutters.

          "I agree."  There's nothing left to say after that.  We look out the window a little longer, and then he returns to his post.

          "Hey Lulu."

          Well, I certainly seem to be popular today.  Only half an hour after Wakka left and Tidus is talking to me.  "Hello.  You want to talk about Yuna, right?" I guess.  It isn't difficult.

          "Uh...yeah," he admits.  "I don't get it.  How can you let her do this?"

         "What else would you have us do?"  I turn to him.  Although I didn't show it, his accusation earlier, of lying, of not caring, cut deeply.  "I told you.  Yuna chose her own path."

          "So?  Why didn't you stop her?" he argues.  "Or find another way!"

          "We did everything to stop her short of binding her in chains," I tell him coolly.  "And there is no other way to defeat Sin.  He in unstoppable without the Final Aeon."

          "How do you know?" Tidus presses.  "Have you ever tried?"

          "Of course not!  To do so would be suicide!" I snap.  For some reason, he grins.  "I don't see anything amusing."

          "We~ell, it's suicide to fight Sin with the Final Aeon anyway, right?  At least for Yuna."

          "...yes."  What is he getting at?

          "So, if she's going to die anyway, why don't we try it?  Fighting Sin without the Final Aeon."

          I blink.  There does seem to be some logic in that...

          "C'mon Lulu."  Tidus' expression changes slightly, unreadable.   "Think about it!  I know you'd risk your life for Yuna, you're her guardian.  We all would.  Together, we can beat Sin, without the summoning!"

          He's still watching me, as if for confirmation.  Something clicks.

          He wants my approval.

          Tidus, cocky and confident, is waiting for my judgment.  He wants to know if I believe his plan could succeed.

          I think this, of all things, convinced me.  The fact that he is seeking judgment shows he placed thought into this idea.  And why not?  One way, Yuna dies for certain.  The other way, there's a slight chance Yuna may live.  Sin may live no matter the choice.  Why not take the chance?

          "It may work."

          "Yeah!"  Tidus nods, grinning.  "Glad to see you're with us, Lulu!"

          "But," I interrupt, "we will continue the journey to Zanarkand to obtain the Final Aeon."  Tidus opens his mouth to object, but I continue.  "When we face Sin, we can try to defeat it without summoning.  Still, if worst comes to worst..." I shake my head.  "It is always good to have a back-up plan."

          He frowns, but nods.  "Okay.  But she won't have to use it," he says under his breath, walking away.  "I swear she won't."

          I refrain from commenting.  I know promises won't stop death.  I learned that a year ago, when Chappu died in the waters of Djose.


	4. A Fleeting Dream

**A Fleeting Dream**

By kimetara

4th In-game POV

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own it.  Haha, you can't sue me!  (It'd be a waste of your time anyway, unless you want some pocket lint?  Ooh, I might have a penny around here...or maybe even a dime!)

          My eyes narrow in frustration.  We've been in Bevelle's Cloister of Trials for nearly four hours now!

          I barely restrain myself from casting Thunder on the machina.  Ugh.  Who would have guessed that Yevon withheld such secrets?  Using machina they forbid, leading us all blindly...but I suppose it's mostly our fault for allowing ourselves to be led.  The thought doesn't help my mood.

          "C'mon, Lulu!  Yuna's waiting!"

          I stiffen, then turn my glare full on at the impatient blond.  "If you have any ideas on what to do next, I'd be happy to hear it," I tell him sarcastically.

          "Arrgh!"  Tidus slams his fist into the wall.  My anger fades; I understand quite well what he is feeling.

          "I'm trying to figure this out," I sigh, turning back to the glyph we're currently floating on.  "But this Cloister of Trials is the most complex I have ever seen."  I raise my hand to my temple, trying to recall all the maps and possible sphere combinations we had seen and used so far.

          "Hey, give her a break, ya?" Wakka claps a hand on Tidus' shoulder.  "She's doing her best, and Lu's always gotten us through the temples."

          Tidus pauses, then nods dejectedly.  "Yeah.  Sorry, Lulu."

          "It's fine."  I turn back to my musings, absently rubbing the Glyph sphere in my hand with my thumb.  As the most knowledgeable of the group, and the best at solving puzzles and riddles, it had become habit for me to lead the way through the various trials.  However, this one has me baffled.  It was a feeling I disliked with a vengeance.

          It was quiet for a while, as I stood there, puzzling the temple out.  Other thoughts kept clouding my mind though, and feelings of irritation and frustration were ruining my concentration.

          "Let's take a break."  Sir Auron's baritone broke through the tense atmosphere.  Well now, those are words I never thought I'd hear from _his_ mouth.

          "But we have to save Yunie!" is Rikku's protest.

          "'Save'?"  Sir Auron chuckles.  It's a pleasing sound – not that I am one for such matters.  "Don't worry.  Yuna's fine.  In fact, I suspect the closer we get to her, the more danger we'll all be in."

          "Huh?  What're you talking about?"  Wakka's brows furrow in confusion.

          "What he means," I explain, "is that if this is a trap, they're probably waiting for all of us to be together."

          "Oh."

          "Well, in that case," Rikku smiles, "let's rest!  I'm tired from all this standing around."

          Wakka, Kimahri, and Tidus all look at me.  I can see Tidus wants to continue the search, but he doesn't wish to go against Sir Auron.  Wakka and Kimahri don't seem to care either way.

          I nod and sit.  "I would appreciate a rest.  Perhaps it would help me to think more clearly."  I glance at Kimahri.  It's not very well known, but I hold his opinion above all the others, except for Sir Auron of course.  I believe the Ronso has a good amount of sense, more so than Tidus or Wakka at any rate.

          Kimahri nods.  "Kimahri think Yuna safe.  No need for hurry."  Satisfied I made the correct decision, I lean back against the wall and close my eyes.

          _Come on, think!  What other combinations are there left to try?_  The amount of possible mixes – not including secret chambers all temples had – was enough to give me a headache.

          "Don't stress yourself.  It won't help."

         I promptly open my eyes and look up.  "Hello Sir Auron.  Thank you for your concern, but it isn't necessary.  I know how far to push myself," I reply quietly.  I am not offended or flattered, and I do not mean to offend or flatter him.

          "Just some advice."  He speaks softly, but I can tell what he's thinking: he never does anything unnecessary.

          "Don't take too long," he turns abruptly, "trap or no, we need to find Yuna quickly."

          "I understand."

          He merely nods to my reply, then starts to walk away.  I call him back.  "Sir Auron."

          He turns around.  "What?"

          I pause, wondering whether I wished to be treated as a child once more, then go ahead anyway.  "Maester Seymour asked once why you were still here.  What did he mean?"

          "You believe him?"

          "Yes," I reply levelly.  "He was corrupt, but not the sort to lie.  He gains too much pleasure playing word games, and getting away with terrible truths."

          "You're switching your verb tenses."

          I blink at the abrupt subject change.  "So?"

          "'So?'" he mimics.  Inwardly I flare with annoyance, but stay quiet.  "Do you still consider Seymour to be alive?"

          "As alive as you are, _Sir_ Auron," I retort.  I watch him carefully for his reaction.  Consider it my way of returning the conversation to its original topic.

          He doesn't react at all.  "Is that so?" is his reply, before he turns back around to leave.  "If my title bothers you so much," he adds over his shoulder, "then don't use it."

          I watch his retreating back, as uninformed on the matter as I was before, but still feeling rather satisfied.  I've found I enjoy his company; he is very soothing.  Not the word one would link with Sir Auron, is it?  And yet...he's so knowledgeable, and self-assured, it's impossible for me to feel nervous around him.  Of course, I have never felt intimidated by Sir Auron, as Wakka is.  No, he makes me feel...safe.

          What am I doing?  This is no time for such things.  I return to puzzling over the Cloister of Trials, and save my thoughts for another day.

          An hour later, we are back to exploring the temple.  I had made a little headway – I now held a Destruction sphere in my hand.

          We rode the pedestal aimlessly, trying new corridors to find our way through.  I wonder whether Yuna is alright?  I hope so.  A sigh slips out.

          "Something the matter, Lu?"  Wakka.  His Besaid accent makes it sound more like 'somethin the matta, Lu?'  I hardly notice it now, though when I first moved to Besaid it was both slightly annoying and endearing.  "That's the third time you've sighed in the past five minutes.  You okay?"

          Am I okay?  "Of course," I reply.  Wakka's the only one that ever asks me that.  I'm not surprised.  If you act as if you're strong, as if nothing bothers you, people don't tend to question it.

          "Huh."  The noise makes it clear he's skeptical about my reply.

          "What?  I'm fine," I snap.  "I'm as fine as can be, considering we've been in this temple for the past five hours, Yuna's missing, and Yevon is plotting against us.  And let's not forget we're most likely walking straight into a trap," I finish tersely.

          I instantly regret all I said upon seeing Wakka's downcast face.  "Yeah, I know what you mean," he replies heavily.  "I still can't believe all the stuff's that happened lately, you know?  Killing a maester, the Guado invading the Al Bhed, then a dead Seymour trying to marry Yuna?"  He shakes his head in disbelief.  "And the maesters using forbidden machina!"

          "It's not forbidden for them."  I speak quieter now, seriously, still searching for the correct slot for this Destruction sphere.  "Perhaps we are not allowed to use machina, but the maesters...they get to choose at what times machina is accepted, do they not?"  I think I've found the correct walkway, and I direct the pedestal to turn.  "When people have power, they seek to use it."

          _When people have power, they seek to use it.  _At least that was one thing the maesters taught truly.  Perhaps Sin wasn't caused by machina at all, but by powerlust.  By people...like the maesters.

          I had found the right path.  In a few more minutes, we left Bevelle's Cloister of Trials.

AN: Hmm...I felt like just posting a lot.  Not sure why.  Oh well.  *shrug*  Reviews are appreciated!


	5. Nostalgia

**Nostalgia**

By kimetara

5th In-game POV

Disclaimer: Hasn't changed since last chapter.

          Here we are.  The Calm Lands.

          Both of my previous pilgrimages ended here.  One because the summoner gave up, and the other...well, it was long ago.  Yuna, I know, is strong enough to pass through the Calm Lands, and I am older now.  Older, wiser, and much more powerful in my art.

          At least, I hope I am.

          I watch with pride as Yuna yet again defeats Belgemine.  She is strong.  She will live to face Sin, I guarantee it.  Whether she will live after...I do not know.  Time grows short; we are so close to Zanarkand.  I almost wish that Yuna's pilgrimage will be stopped.  Or at least, lengthened.  Perhaps she will find that she is not yet ready to face Sin, that she needs to gather even more Aeons before fighting the creature.  It will only buy her – buy us all – time, but time is precious.  Even just a day more of life.

          Life...I wonder...

~~~~~

          "Whew!  That was one heck of a boss!" Tidus puffs.  I almost feel sorry for him; he had provoked Defender X to allow me to cast my spells without worry.

          Almost feel sorry.  "Are you alright?"  Yuna bends down next to Tidus and casts a quick Cura.  With that, he's able to walk to the blessed point to fully heal, as the rest of us already have.  Brilliant things, blessed points.  It's said that years ago, on the first pilgrimages, certain spots on different routes were infused with white magic, fully healing and restoring any traveler who touched them.

          Tidus and Yuna talk for a short while at the point, then he turns around.  "Let's go!"  Tidus straightens and walks away.

          "You're heading in the wrong direction," I report calmly.  He turns around.

          "This isn't the way in?"

          "That way leads down into the valley."  I don't bring myself to look at him.

          "Wow, you know your way around, ya?" Wakka asks.

          Know my way around...I could never forget.  I walk away.

          "Huh?"  Confused Wakka, as usual.

          Tidus, due to the "lure of the unknown," goes down in the valley anyway.  Naturally, we all follow.  Myself at the rear, as always.

          "Where are we?" Rikku asks wonderingly.

          I turn to look at the cave.  Dimly, I can see purple mists rising.  "The fayth is inside."  I nod slightly to myself.  "As are the fiends."

          Wakka blinks.  I can tell he's putting two and two together.  "Hey.  This where...?"

          I nod.

          "Where what?" Tidus asks.  Wakka glances at me, unsure whether to say anything.

          There's no use hiding it.  "The summoner I guarded on my first pilgrimage...died here." They all fall silent, a few staring at me, a few averting their gaze.  I can see they don't know how to react, so I'll react for them.  "Yuna, let's go.  The fayth awaits."

          Yuna nods and enters the cave; Kimahri, Tidus, Rikku, and Auron follow.  I wait, and Wakka waits as well.

          For a moment he just watches me, trying to see whether I am as okay as I seem to be.  I must have passed his inspection, because he doesn't say anything, just turns around and walk away.

          I sigh.  I don't know myself, whether I am truly okay.  But my summoner is waiting.

          We enter a cavern, and then another, but this one...has a strange feel to it.  A touch of the Farplane.

          "Peh!  Another Guado fiend?" Wakka demands.

          "No.  An unsent," is Kimahri's reply.  Strange.  I didn't know he could recognize an unsent.

          Pyreflies flit around the room.  Beautiful as they are, out of the Farplane they rarely represent something good.  And in this place...  I ready myself.

          However, the outline of a woman slowly forms.  An outline...  My eyes widen, and I almost unconsciously I step forward.

          "It is...  It's you, is it not, Lady Ginnem?"  I pause.  She doesn't deny it.  
          I bow my head.  The memories...are so painful.  "Forgive me. I was too young," I murmur.  I was twelve when I guarded her, ten long years ago, before the Calm of Lord Braska.

          Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Sir Auron nodding to Yuna, and Yuna stepping forward for a sending.  Lady Ginnem lowers her arm sharply, much as I do casting one of my magic spells, and the room glows.  It's as if the air was sucked from the cavern, and Yuna stops.

          It is as I feared.  "There is no human left in you now, is there?" I ask softly.  Lady Ginnem lowers her arm again, slower this time.

          "Very well, then," I look down, but I force myself to lift my gaze.  I owe her at least that much.  "Allow me to perform my last duty to you.  My last as your guardian."

          She's gone.  I myself dealt the finishing blow to her Aeon, and now...she's gone.

          "Strange. I thought it would be sadder, somehow," I think aloud.  My eyes are slightly wet, and I dry them on my sleeve.  "Maybe I've gotten used to farewells."

          "You're stronger now."  Wakka's voice resonates through the room.  I don't look at him, and I know he isn't looking at me.  I appreciate being given my privacy.

          "Wakka."  I'm not sure what to say.  I...  "I hope you're right."  Composed once again, I turn to face Yuna.  "Yuna, the fayth is inside. Go do what you came to do."

          She leaves to pray with the fayth, and the others follow.  I know that from here, she will be alright without me, so I sit down and put my face in my hands.  Lady Ginnem is at rest.  I have fulfilled my final duty.  It doesn't make me feel much better.

          "Lu?"

          I stiffen automatically, but relax when I realize it's only Wakka.  I wouldn't stand revealing my grief before any of the others, but Wakka...he has already seen me feel.  Not to my full extent – I am always alone at those points – but more than this.

          "Thank you."

          "For what?" Wakka asks.  He really does become confused easily.

          "For saying that I'm stronger."

          He sits down next to me.  "Hey, no problem."

          Water still leaks from my eyes, and I'm forced to wipe them away again.  "I don't know if you're right though."  I wrap my arms around my knees, my Cactuar Scope watching me anxiously from my lap.  "Maybe I just...don't feel good-byes as deeply anymore."

          "Huh?"

          "Maybe I'm simply becoming numb," I speak softly.  I am always so reserved...perhaps that's what I've become.  Cold, the whole way through.  "Pain, death...everywhere, you see death in Spira.  We have all learned to deal with it, to accept death and move on.  And yet...I don't wish to become numb to the pain.  I don't want to forget...how to feel."

          "Eh..."  Wakka looks around anxiously, as if he expects the dirt floor to give him a response.  "Lu..."  He bows his head.  "I don't know.  Like you said, death is everywhere.  Damn Sin," he curses, but continues on.  "Sometimes, I don't know if I really feel everything either, you know?  Sometimes it's just, 'so, another village got destroyed today,' and it doesn't bother me more than losing at blitz."  He shrugs.  "That's why you gotta be careful who you get attached to, ya?"  Wakka waves his hand dismissively in the air.  "Anyway Lu...what I'm saying is, we're all like that.  But look, if we all ripped ourselves up every time someone close to us died...well, we probably wouldn't be here now, ya?  You know what I'm saying?"

          "...I know."  I close my eyes and nod.  "You're smarter than you let on."

          "Hey~!" Wakka protests.  I smile slightly and stand up.

          "The others are probably waiting for us.  Shall we go?"

          "Yeah, you know they need me, ya?"  He puffs up arrogantly.  I roll my eyes.

          "Please."

          We meet up with Kimahri, Sir Auron, and Rikku, and wait for Tidus and Yuna.  Eventually, the two come out.

          "Well guys, this Aeon's cut into our purses a bit," Tidus announces.  I look at Yuna.

          "What does he mean?"

          "...it cost over 200,000 gil for him to agree to join us," Yuna admits quietly.

          Sir Auron laughs before we can say anything.  "Yojimbo...he always did love his money."

          "Yeah, no kidding.  200,000 gil..."  Wakka shakes his head.

          "It's not very much.  A trifle amount, really."

          "Huh?"  Tidus stares at me.

          "We still have 50,000 gil to live off of.  That's plenty, for now.  Besides,"  I turn towards the entrance, "200,000 is cheap for Yojimbo.  I've heard he's charged over 500,000 to some."  With that, I leave the cavern, and the others follow.

          "He must've liked us!" I can hear Rikku declare.

          "Why wouldn't he?" Tidus replies.  "But I wonder what he does with all that gil...isn't he dead?"

          "Don't ask me!"

          Those two...  I shake my head, but smile.

~~~~~

          We've now begun our long trek up Mt. Gagazet.  It's a new road, one I am unfamiliar with, but I know all its lore, as with the other areas we've traveled to.  We're lucky to have gained the approval of the Ronso, especially being branded as traitors by Yevon.  Yuna has indeed grown.

          After a while, we reach a large boulder, with a spear standing next to it.  "These mark the graves of summoners and guardians who failed," I announce quietly.  Yuna kneels down and says a short prayer, and we trek further up the mountain path.

          There are many hard battles, and no sign of a blessed point.  "They're sure keepin' us busy!" Wakka complains.

          "Better than freezing to death," is Sir Auron's reply.  Nobody can deny its truth, but we are all becoming weary.

          Finally, Tidus bends over, hands on his knees.

          "I'm beat.  How about a break?" he asks.  Yuna looks around at everyone, and we stay quiet.  A rest would be welcome.

          "A little further," Sir Auron orders.  We walk behind him as he leads the way to a slightly more sheltered dip in the wall.

          "This will do."  I lift my hand, and a wall of ice forms, enlarging the cover the wall already provides.  I can see Tidus, Rikku, and Wakka staring.

          "Whoa, I didn't know you could do that!" Tidus exclaims.

          "Not all of my power is destructive," I reply calmly, then turn away.

          I can hear Sir Auron behind me.  "We rest here.  For a little while."  Everyone nods and sits down.

          I walk a distance from the group into the snow and let my gaze travel over the mountain.  I don't need the shelter very much; as mentioned before I have become immune to nearly all types of weather.  It comes from having the magic of fire, ice, thunder, and water running through your veins.  And ice is my favorite of the four.

          Zanarkand lies just beyond these peaks...

          This entire quest has taken less than half a year.  Amazing, how attached I have become to so many people in such a short time.  I should watch my affections more closely...but this is a strong group.  All of us.  Yuna _will_ succeed.  She has grown much stronger, stronger than Father Zuke, stronger than Lady Ginnem...

          "Thinking?"  Sir Auron's voice cuts smoothly through my mind.

          "Correct."

          We stand together a little longer, looking out into the mountain.

          "What about?"

          I close my eyes.  "Sir Auron.  Have you...ever failed?"

          "Not in the way you have."

          A sigh.  "Of course not," I murmur.  Sir Auron's answer is painfully blunt, but I expected such a reply.

          It's silent again.

          "...I was...lucky," he finally says.

          "Hmm?"  I give him a questioning glance, but he's still observing the mountain.

          "My first summoner defeated Sin.  A very unusual chance."

          "..."  My eyes return to Mt. Gagazet.  "You were – are – a very capable guardian."

          He laughs quietly into his coat collar.  "A capable summoner would be closer."

          "Perhaps."

          He turns to face me.  "You shouldn't concern yourself with previous matters.  As I told Yuna before – dwelling in the past is futile."

          I lift my chin a little higher, although I keep my gaze on the mountain.  "Often the past hides lessons for the future."

          "Hmph.  ...so, you'd argue even with me."

          Is that amusement in his voice?  "I respect you very much, Sir Auron.  However, I will always 'argue' for my beliefs, no matter who you may be."

          "I see."  I get the feeling he's smirking in that coat of his.

          "Are you laughing at me?"  I turn my head to face him and lift an eyebrow.

          "Jecht once said never to laugh at a beautiful woman, or at least, never admit it."  Sir Auron chuckles, albeit a touch bitterly, to himself.  "So no, of course not."

          "You're not very reassuring," I chide gently.  "But thank you."

          He ignores my reply.  "Aren't you cold?"

          What a sudden subject change, but I've become fairly used to his abrupt ways of talking.  "A little.  I enjoy it.  It helps me to feel more."  I'm not sure why I told him that.  Maybe because I know he'll understand.

          Sure enough, Sir Auron nods.  "Invigorating, isn't it?  The wind on your face, the tingle in your skin...makes you forget.  For a while."

          "Exactly.  I couldn't have said it better myself."

          "That's quite the compliment, coming from you."  I know he's laughing now.

          "Laughing at me again?  Very well, I'll refrain from ever praising you," I reply pertly.

          "You shouldn't take offense so easily."  His good eye locks with my unhidden one, and I swear I feel a tingle running through my spine...a shiver completely separate from the snow.  "Life is short.  Don't waste it being angry."

         Were it anyone else, being commanded in such a way would have infuriated me.  With Sir Auron...  "I know.  I can't seem to help it."

          He steps a little closer to me, probing my eyes, my soul.  "You hide too much of yourself.  All the fury, the grief..." he takes my chin and lifts my face slightly, probing deeper.  For a moment, I'm reminded of when he did this to Rikku; yet, it was different then, he was searching her appearance, not her spirit.

          "You bury it deep within yourself, but it's eating away at you," he murmurs, half to himself.  His gruff voice brings me back to the present.  "Let it go sometime, Lulu."

          "Sometime," I whisper, averting my eyes away.  He's still holding my face, still watching me.  "After...the pilgrimage."  He looks skeptical.  "I promise."

          "...as you wish."  He lets me go and walks away.

          I can tell he's displeased by my decision.  But I won't risk weakening until after...after Yuna faces Sin.

          But for now, thank you, Sir Auron.

          "You are indeed a legendary guardian," I murmur.  The icy wind carries my words away.

AN: Review please?  (Why do I have this little AN?  I've found people tend to review more often if you remind them, lol)


	6. Calm Before the Storm

**Calm Before the Storm**

By kimetara

6th In-game POV

Disclaimer: Me no own.  You no sue.  Everybody big happy, yes?

          I sigh as we battle yet another Behemoth.  We've been training in Mt. Gagazet, due to Sir Auron's insistence.  Once a blessed point was found, he refused to let us continue until Yuna masters her new spell – Holy.  It is extremely high-level work though, and it's taken her many days.  Indeed, she has not yet been able to successfully use it.

          The Behemoth is defeated easily, and Yuna dismisses Bahamut.  I can tell she's frustrated with how long it is taking her.  However, nobody is impatient to be going, except perhaps Sir Auron.  We all know...Zanarkand awaits on the other side.

          "Not good enough," he growls.  "Keep training!"

          "Yes."  Yuna nods and runs off, searching for more monsters to battle.  Tidus, Wakka, Rikku, and Kimahri follow her.  Sir Auron moves to do the same, but I call him back.

          "Sir Auron, I understand the need for training, but don't you think you're being a little harsh?" I reprimand.  "Yuna is trying her best to learn, and Holy is difficult to master.  You can't expect her to learn in a matter of days."

          "I can and I do."

          "Sir Auron-"

          "It's no more difficult than the Flare you mastered yesterday.  Yuna _will_ learn before we face Yunalesca.  She _must_ be ready."

          "Yunalesca?"  I blink in surprise, but my mind is already working swiftly on this new information.  "So...Lady Yunalesca is unsent as well," I muse.  "Why is she here?"

          He looks down the cavern, at the tunnel we had yet to enter.  "She's waiting."

          "Waiting...?"

          "To break the weak and test the strong.  To give the Final Aeon."

          "...I see."  I look down the cavern as well.  "So she is also unsent?  Will we have to fight her as well?" I murmur.

          "Does it matter?"  Sir Auron turns and walks to follow where Yuna has gone.  Distantly, I hear battle cries, but I know Wakka and Kimahri will take care of the younger three.  "As long as the pilgrimage continues, the resistance we face is of no importance."

          I know he's right.  And yet...  "You knew, didn't you.  About the maesters."

          "Yes."

          "Why didn't you tell us?"

          "It was something you needed to see with your own eyes."

          I place a hand lightly on my hip.  "I would have appreciated a warning, at least."

          "Hmph.  Sorry."  He doesn't sound the least bit repentant.  I doubt he ever does.  I sigh and let it go.

          "I...find it difficult, to adjust to the fact that the maesters are unsent."

          He smirks.  "Why?  Do the unliving bother you?"

          "Not at all.  Indeed, at times they are my best companions."  I glance down fondly at my little Cactuar Scope, and it snuggles closer to me.  "What I meant though, is to suddenly find that Yevon is riddled with lies is rather unsettling."

          A pause.  "You seem to be taking it well enough."

          "I take it as I take all things," I reply evenly.

          "Of course."  And he continues walking away.

          I follow him, as usual, both of us striding quickly at the sound of battle.  We came upon the scene of Ifrit against two Bashuras.

          "Hey Lu, where you been?" Wakka yells.  "You too, Sir Auron!  We could've used some help, ya?"

          "You shouldn't depend on others for strength.  I expect you to be able to take care of yourselves by now," I scold.

          "Eesh, sorry."  Before I can reply, one of the Bashuras is defeated, and Yuna dismisses Ifrit.  Wakka, Sir Auron, and I are called to finish the last one.

          "Where were you guys?" Rikku demands once the battle is over – mostly to Sir Auron.  Personally, I suspect a small crush on her part, but as I've never been the type to meddle I'll let it be.

          "Talking," Sir Auron answers shortly.  Rikku raises an eyebrow.

          "Talking about what?" she presses.  Sir Auron doesn't answer.

          "Talking about what?" she asks again, louder.

          "It's nothing.  Don't worry about it," I intercept.  She frowns, but relents.  Tidus told me once, a little while ago, that Rikku looked up to me.  I found it quite flattering, especially as I myself had taken a liking to the young Al Bhed.  Perhaps, when she was older, I'd teach her how to use magic...

          If she gets older.  The thought saddens me more than I would like to admit.  I take a deep breath, and look around the group.  Kimahri and Wakka are standing by Yuna's side as she talks to Sir Auron, while Tidus and Rikku talk animatedly to each other.  I have to be prepared for all of them to die.

          "How is it?"  Sir Auron's voice thankfully breaks my thoughts, although he's speaking to Yuna.  I move quietly to take my place beside Wakka and listen.

          "I'm sorry," she sighs.  "I can feel it...but, I'm not there yet.  Almost," Yuna nods and forces a smile on her face.  Lately, it had become easier and easier to tell which smiles were forced, and which were real.

          "...you're doing well.  Keep going."  He turns away, not seeing Yuna's delighted surprise at the encouragement, but I'm sure he knows anyway.  I'll have to thank him later.

          "Tidus, you and Rikku also need training," he orders to the pair.  "You three," indicating Tidus, Yuna, and Rikku, "Are to battle against every monster that comes our way."  The three nod and move to the forefront of the party, while the rest of us move behind them.

          Wakka drops behind to walk with me, as I am in the rear as usual.  "So, what were you and Sir Auron talking about?  Something serious, ya?"

          "If it were something serious, you wouldn't be the person I'd tell," I inform him dryly.  "But it really was nothing, Wakka."

          He gives me a look.  "You're not the type for talking about nothing, Lu.  You've been spending a lot of time with Sir Auron lately, ya?"

          "I suppose.  Why?"

          "You sure that's a good idea?  I mean," he adds hastily, "I respect Sir Auron and all, but...he knows too much, you know?  Makes me a little suspicious."

          Suspicious...Wakka never used to be suspicious before.  He's had so many betrayals lately...  "I know, Wakka.  Still, I'm sure Sir Auron is a good person, although he has his own reasons for keeping to himself.  Sir Auron is not Sir Jecht."  I turn to face him, though his face is downcast.  "Wakka."

          "Yeah?"

          I move closer and place my hand gently on his shoulder.  "Don't...be suspicious."  I offer a small smile.  "That's my job."

          He hesitates, then nods.  "Yeah, I guess."

          "Oh, and Wakka?"

          "Eh?"

          "I'm sorry."  I remove my hand and turn towards the others.

          "Sorry?  For what?"

          "For not telling you about Rikku.  And Yuna."

          "Oh, that."  He shrugs.  "You know you were right, Lu.  Heh, guess I did lose my head when I found out, ya?"  Wakka grins.  "You know me better than I do."

          "Of course."  I start walking now.  "Naturally, I assume the same of you."

_          Wakka watched his childhood friend walk away.  "Yeah Lu, I know you better than you do.  A little too well sometimes, ya?" he murmured softly to himself, then ran to catch up with her._


	7. Believe

**Believe**

By kimetara

7th In-game POV

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy X.  This disclaimer will go for all upcoming chapters.

          _He saw her, with the eternal night sky of Zanarkand a draping background, and the cold moon illuminating her face.  This was Lulu in her element – she was not made for tropical islands, or arrogant cities, but pure, beautiful light, in a city of pale ruin._

_          She could become a fayth, and rival Yunalesca herself._

          We are on the airship.

          So many things have happened in the past three days.  We crossed Mt. Gagazet.  We entered Zanarkand.  And we fought, and defeated, Lady Yunalesca.

          It's a huge change.  My entire life...has been ripped from the roots.  My hope for so long, was a lie.

          And I don't care at all.

          Maybe because we've grown up having our lives torn from us, we've become used to bouncing back.  Destruction is the driving force of Spira, after all.

          Or maybe, since this is a lie...always been a lie...I feel justified in letting Yuna refuse to take the Final Aeon.  Tidus had convinced me long before to try fighting without it, but there was always a bit of guilt from going against the teachings.  Now...the teachings are false, so why follow them?

          Either way, right now I'm more concerned with resting from the battle with Yunalesca.  It's a very unpleasant feeling, becoming an undead.  A zombie, in common terms.

          I pass out of the bridge and into the corridor, only to see Sir Auron leaning on the wall outside the doorway.

          "Hello."

          He acknowledges me with a nod, but doesn't reply.

          "How are you feeling, Sir Auron?" I ask politely.  "It must be difficult, reliving such a traumatic moment in your past."  I know I'm treading on thin ice now, but frankly, I've learned the best way to get through to Sir Auron quickly is to be blunt.

          "Is there something you want?" he asks harshly.  Well, that was to be expected.

          I give him a long, considering look.  I'm certain he's upset over revisiting Zanarkand, no matter how well he tries to hide it.  I know, since I've hidden such pain myself, many times.  And those memories...

          What can I say?  There is no consolation for death.

          "You didn't fail."  Where did that come from?  The words came and left my mouth smoothly, without my clearance or consideration.  Unsettling.

          But he's looking at me now, lifting an eyebrow, waiting for me to explain myself.

          "You succeeded in protecting High Summoner Braska to defeat Sin.  That is a guardian's duty," I finish quietly.

          Surprisingly, he laughs.  It's a bitter sound, once that causes me to nearly flinch.

          "Yes, I succeeded in being a guardian," he agrees.  "I succeeded in turning them both up for human sacrifices."  The last words are growled angrily, and I can see his fist tighten on the hilt of his Kotetsu.

          "There was nothing else you could do," I protest forcefully.

          "How do you know that?"  He straightens and stands before me in one smooth movement, staring down at me from his one good eye.  "I never tried, beyond weak words.  Words that held only emotion," he nearly spits the words out, contempt dripping off his tone.  I blink in shock when I feel his left hand gripping my upper right arm tightly, painfully.  "If I hadn't let my emotions get in the way, I could have convinced them to listen, to wait.  Instead, I let Braska go to his death for a lie, and Jecht..."  He shakes his head, visibly regaining control over himself, his grip on my arm loosening.  "I knew, more than either of them, that something was off.  I had been a warrior monk, after all," he finishes quietly.  "I should have done what Tidus did today."

          Tidus.  The outsider, with his foreign views, had saved Yuna.  At a loss for words, I move my arm slightly, and he looks down at his hand as if surprised it had emerged from his coat.

          "My apologies."  He withdraws his arm back into its customary resting place.  I simply stare, bewildered by what had just happened, but my mind is working swiftly.

          "There's nothing to apologize for," I say finally.  "And I would have done the same, in your position.  Less, actually."  I fold my arms as I allow my eyes to gaze at some point in the distance.  "At least you had the foresight, and loyalty, to protest against Lord Braska's summoning.  I would have blindly offered myself to become the fayth."  As I did with Yuna.  Self-disgust taints my expression, as I recall how close I had become to giving myself, and a person I loved dearly, up for a false hope.  For a lie.

          "...Yevon weaves a thick fog," is his response.  I shake my head.

          "Don't be a fool," I reply, harsher than I usually would be.  "By that time, we all knew Yevon was corrupt.  But we were too reluctant to give up our hope and see the facts.  For myself to cling to such falsehoods is inexcusable."

          "For yourself?"  He's gazing at me, an intent expression on his face.  "Why only for you?"

          I lift my chin slightly, meeting his gaze.  "It is my responsibility to be observant and clear-seeing.  That is part of my place as Yuna's guardian."

          "I don't recall such a thing as part of guardian obligations," he contradicts gently.

          "An obligation as one who loves her, then."

          "I see."  His eyes dart away, then return to mine.  "I did not mean to aim my words at you."

          "All the same, they were true for both of us."  Yes.  Auron's accusations at himself had hurt me, because they were true for me as well.  I would have given her up as a human sacrifice, because that was how it was always done.  A thousand-year old tradition.  From this new point of view – provided by Tidus, Rikku, and Auron, strengthened by Lady Yunalesca and Yevon's betrayal – I was appalled with how easily I had swallowed such obvious lies.

          Silence fills the corridor.  I abruptly become aware of how close we are standing next to each other, and look away to the floor.  He must have seen the realization on my face, or else noticed himself, because he moves away and returns to leaning against the corridor wall.

          I break the silence a few moments later.  "However..." I begin, "we are all human, and mistakes are made.  It does no good to linger and allow wrath and guilt to consume us."  I straighten and look directly at Auron, who is watching some point on the floor.  "I will forgive myself for my mistake.  I would do the same for you, Auron," I pause, watching his reaction, "except that there is nothing to forgive."

          He doesn't acknowledge a word I've said, but I know he has heard me.  I leave the corridor and head to my room.

          Halfway there, I wonder – why had I spoken to Auron at all?

          I drop on my bed, passing a hand over my eyes, suddenly feeling very tired.

          He had been on my mind often recently, and I've caught myself trying to stand closer to him.  I've found myself watching him, watching him battle, watching him converse with the others.  More than once, our gazes had met, and so I knew – know – he has been watching me as well.

          But he's been watching me since the Thunder Plains, when I asked him about his aversion to the Farplane, so that was irrelevant.

          The Farplane.  How long has it been since I asked him about that?  Not since Bevelle's Cloister of Trials.  As time passed, the matter became less and less concern to me, and I've found myself talking to him for the simple pleasure of talking to him.

          ...I guess I was really and truly over Chappu.  Seeing him in the Farplane had put my demons to rest.

          So, Auron.

          There is a large risk.  For one, none of us may survive this venture.  For another, he may not even be interested.  My heart has healed just recently, I'm not sure how much of a battering it can take.

          Then again, I don't have much choice, do I?

          I know I'm playing with fire, but that's all right.  I have ice in my veins.

          Now, to defeat Sin...

          "Lulu!"  I rise up on my bed to see Rikku run into my room, Wakka slightly behind her.  "I got an idea!"

          An idea on how to defeat Sin?  I sit up fully.  "What is it?"

          "It's-" Wakka steps forward, but Rikku pushes him back.

          "It's my idea!  See-"  Wakka pulls her back now.  It's good that they're back on friendly terms; Rikku had forgiven Wakka during a battle – "No problem, guys!"  "Hah, that's just what I was thinking!" – but I prefer to find out what is going on before Sin crushes us.

          "Rikku.  Explain," I order sharply after another unsuccessful five tries.    

          "Aww..." Wakka grumbles.  Rikku grins and jumps in the air.

          "See Lulu, in the Lake Macalania Sin came, right?  And there wasn't any Sinspawn, so something else must have attracted it, right?" she asks eagerly.  I nod.

          "Go on."

          "Well, the only other thing there was the Hymn of the Fayth!" Rikku concludes triumphantly.

          "The Hymn of the Fayth?" I repeat, considering.

          "Yeah!  I don't know exactly how it works, I mean, Sin listening to the Hymn of the Fayth, but..." she trails off.

          "It would work, because Sir Jecht liked listening to the hymn," I conclude.  "Sin is also calmer while listening to the hymn, which would make it easier to attack.  Brilliant.  You're very sharp, Rikku."  She grins embarrassedly.

          "Then you think it would work?"  Rikku looks at me earnestly.  I nod decisively.

          "Yes."

~~~~~

          So, Maester Mika has claimed Yuna being a traitor the result of a rumor from the "evil" Al Bhed, much to the indignation of all of us, especially Rikku.  Still, that didn't stop her from making a request of Shelinda.  She is indeed a sharp girl, quick-thinking and capable of seeing many opportunities.  She is a worthy guardian.

          I wonder...

          "There's something I want to say before the fight."  Wakka's voice cuts into my thoughts.  He's talking to Cid, and I listen closer.  "I guess I didn't know anything about the Al Bhed.  Didn't know anything.  Didn't want to listen to anything.  I was a big jerk."  I inwardly smile at his straightforward confession.

          "So, I...  Well, uh..." he turns to face Cid, "I'm sorry, ya?  Please forgive me," he pleads earnestly.

          Cid accepts, and when Wakka looks up at me I nod approvingly.  Very nicely done.  True, Chappu would have had a bit more style, but for this sort of thing, and with Cid, perhaps Wakka's blunt and honest way was best.

          "Awww, now I'm all warm and fuzzy inside," Rikku teases.  It's good for them to be getting along again.

          "It was well done," I tell Wakka quietly as he walks past me.  He grins.  "Of course," I continue, "you shouldn't have acted so childish in the first place, but," I smile, "it was well done."

          "Eh...thanks Lu."  He makes a quick motion with his hand.  "Well, let's go get Sin, ya?"

          "Not yet."  Everybody turns at hearing Auron's voice.

          "Not more training!" Tidus exclaims.  Auron merely looks at him.

          "Awww..." Tidus, Rikku, and Wakka groan in unison.  Yuna giggles and I shake my head at the three of them.

          "If we are going to train, then we'll need to do so quickly, before Sin causes any more damage," I advise.

          "Yes...but as long as we're not going straight to Sin, I would like to revisit the Temples of Fayth," Yuna informs us all quietly.

          "Why don't we just...revisit Spira altogether?" Tidus suggests.  "Like a recap of the pilgrimage.  That way, we could see the temples _and_ train."

          "Yeah!"  Rikku nods empathetically.  "I wanna see where you guys have been without me!"

          "Well, it's not a problem with me.  It'd be good to see Besaid again, ya?" Wakka grins at Tidus.

          "So it's settled!" Tidus declares.  "We start at Besaid Island!"


	8. Launch

**Launch**

By kimetara

8th In-game POV

          I explore the hallways as Brother pilots the airship.  It's good to know as much as you can about where you are.

          As I'm looking through a storage room, I notice Auron approaching me.  Or more accurately, I can feel him approaching me.  Recently, I've developed a sense of where he is.

          "Hello," I tell him, inclining my head slightly.  He nods in reply.

          "I...want to thank you," he manages out.  I allow the hint of a smile to appear on my face.

          "You're welcome."

          He shifts, seeming uncomfortable.  I can imagine why; he must not have reason to feel gratitude for others often.  "I'm curious, and I realize I've asked a similar question before," I start, to break the silence.  "Do you and Rikku have a...relationship?"

          He looks startled, then offended.  "What do you take me for?  I must be nearly twenty years older than her."

          Inwardly I breathe a sigh of relief, but outwardly I just smirk.  "Oh, I don't know.  There have been stranger occurrences, and you two _are_ friendly."  I return to observing the airship's interior.

          "Hmph."  He leans against the wall and watches me.  "She's nice enough.  Has more sense than most people here."

          "Yes.  Rikku is very bright.  If all the Al Bhed are like her, then they will be a great help."  I shake my head, amusement curving around my mouth.  "Still, I wish Brother would stop picking up on Wakka's accent."

          "Maybe we should stop Wakka from talking," he suggests offhandedly.  I smile and shake my head.

          "You'll have a hard time doing that.  I've been trying for over ten years."  I don't feel the slightest bit of guilt; Wakka and I are always poking fun at each other.  Still, perhaps I should change the subject.  "You were once a warrior monk, weren't you Auron?"

          "Yes."

          I turn to look at him.  "What happened?"

          He hesitates before answering.  "I was offered the hand of the high priest's daughter."

          "Ah.  And you turned it down?"

          He nods.  "My position was used as leverage, but I didn't change my mind.  Then the man decided that if I wouldn't marry a priest's daughter, I must have some sort of devilry working in me."  Auron smiles cynically.  "I was excommunicated."

          "Why did you refuse?"  Had he not, he would have almost certainly become a maester.  And excommunication...it's nearly a death sentence, here in Spira.  Yevon controls everything.  Why did he give up such a chance?

          He shrugs.  "She didn't appeal to me."

          I nearly gape.  He gave that up and risked his life because she didn't 'appeal' to him?  "Were you insane?"

          "I was idealistic."

          Idealistic.  I fall silent.  I had been idealistic once too.

          "If you had the chance now, would you take it?" I ask softly.

          He gives me an unreadable look, and I wish I could know what he's thinking.  "No," he answers abruptly.

          "Really."  I wonder why, but I won't pry any further.  It's silent for a few minutes, when surprisingly he starts a conversation.

          "What happened on the first pilgrimage?" he asks.  "With Lady Ginnem."

          My eyes drop to the floor, and I sigh heavily.  "I...was twelve, at the time.  It was right before the Calm Lord Braska brought."  My braids fall gently over my shoulder as I shake my head.  "Lady Ginnem felt there was a fayth in the cave, so we entered.  However, we...got separated, and when I finally found her..." I stop.

          "Were you assigned?"  Often, the temples assigned guardians to summoners, to ensure a balance of force and magic.

          "Yes."  My eyes squeeze shut.  "I was too young.  Too inexperienced.  I shouldn't have wandered off!" I snarl, then hug myself tightly.  "But I wanted to explore, so I snuck away.  I found a blessed point, but when I returned...she had disappeared."

          "I waited there for ages for her to return.  Days, weeks, until our food supply went out, healing and sleeping by the blessed point.  I wandered the whole cave over, until I memorized all the corridors and could walk from one end to the other in pitch darkness.  But I never found her.  I had failed as her guardian."

          It's silent, and I glance up to see what Auron is doing.  To my surprise, he's staring at the floor, looking infuriated.  "Auron?"

          "Idiotic temple priests," he grinds out.  "Assigning a twelve year old..." he shakes his head.

          "No," I sigh.  "I was always trying to prove myself, to show I was capable.  Despite my age, I was the top of my class.  It was no wonder I was chosen."

          He still looks furious, but doesn't argue.  He knows it will most likely be a futile effort.  "What temple were you from?"

          "Macalania."  He looks startled.  No wonder; it's not often the temple of Guadosalam takes human orphans.  "My parents used to work at Rin's shop.  It was the nearest place I could go for safety from Sin, and at the time Lord Jyscal was promoting relations with humans."

          "I see."

          "And you?" I ask.  "Bevelle, am I correct?"

          "As usual."

          I settle down on top of a crate and fold my hands in my lap.  "Tell me about your pilgrimage."

          "What for?"  Auron lifts an eyebrow.

          "Do you always need to be so suspicious?"

          He shrugs.  "It has its uses.  What do you want to know?"

          I shrug lightly.  "Did you all use swords?" I ask.

          He seems surprised, but replies.  "Jecht and I did.  There were fewer fiends, and so less need for force.  Braska was the magic user..."

          "...and at Luca-"

          "Hey, there you guys are!"  Auron and I look up simultaneously at the voice.  Rikku's standing in the doorway, hand on her hip, grinning at us.  "We've been looking for you for the past two hours!"

          "Two-?" I gasp and struggle up from the seat I had taken on the floor, Auron standing behind me.  We had been talking for two hours?  I can't believe I lost track of the time.  "Thank you for coming to get us."

          "No problem."  She winks.  "Although, maybe I should've just let you guys stay, huh?"

          I lift an eyebrow.  "Forbidden territory, Rikku."

          "Aw, alright alright," she pouts, before grinning again.  "We~ell, I'm gonna go now, so see ya on the bridge!"  She leaves happily, the door still open.

          I turn to Auron.  "Shall we be going?"

          He nods.  "We better hurry before they hurt themselves," he says with fake grimness.  I smirk and walk out the door.

~~~~~

          "Ahhh, there's no place like Besaid!" Wakka grins cheerfully as we enter the small village.

          "...it is good to be back," I muse, looking around fondly.  Although not my birthplace, Besaid has always been my home.

          "Yes, it is," Yuna confirms happily.

          "Hey, were you guys born here or something?" Tidus asks casually.

          "Island born and grown!" Wakka replies.  I glare at him for a moment, then turn a calm eye to Tidus.

          "Besaid is Wakka's birthplace, not Yuna's or mine," I correct.

          "I get it.  So-"

          "Lady Yuna!"  An old woman, Widow Serhai, rushes to greet us.  "It's good to see you back.  How is the pilgrimage?"

          "It's coming along very well," Yuna smiles reassuringly at the elderly lady.   Serhai frowns.

          "Very well, huh?  Strangely, some temple monks came by telling us we were to arrest you!  Of course, we would never do such a thing."  Indeed, she seemed offended at the very idea.

          "I see..." Yuna murmurs.  I felt this to be a good time to step in.

          "Excuse me, Lady Serhai, but Yuna would like to revisit the Temple of the Fayth," I interject.

          "Ah, of course Lulu."  Serhai nods respectfully to me, and moves away.

          "So, uh...who was that?" Tidus asks, glancing back at her as we passed by.

          "Lady Serhai is a very devout believer of Yevon," I answer.  "She lost her husband twenty years ago to one of Sin's attacks.  Don't mind her if she gives you a hard time; she hasn't quite forgiven you for storming the temple that day."

          "Ah."  Tidus nods.  "Wow, that seems like a long time ago, huh?"

          "Hey!" Rikku interrupts.  "Why'd you call her 'lady'?  Is she of noble birth too?"

          I blink, surprised.  I suppose such titles aren't common in the Al Bhed culture.  "Lady is simply a term of respect.  It's used most often for older folk, and occasionally those of noble blood such as Yuna.  Technically, Summoner Yuna would be more respectful, but many feel uncomfortable in using that title."

          "I wonder why," Tidus mutters behind me.  I don't comment.  I know he hasn't adjusted to the idea of summoners being sacrificed, and frankly, I rather hope he never will.  Change is often necessary for growth.

          Fairly soon, we are at the steps of the Besaid temple.

          "Well," Yuna takes a breath, "let's go."

          "Um, I'll be right with you guys, okay?" Tidus asks hastily.

          "Okay," Yuna replies.  The blond blitzer runs off to the side.

          "Let's go," Auron commands, stopping us from watching Tidus leave any further, although I'm certain he's watching something.  A sphere, perhaps?

          In twos and threes, we enter the temple.  Tidus catches up with us before we finish the Cloister of Trials, and we all go inside the Chamber of Fayth together.

AN: Rather boring chapter, sorry about that.  Next one ought to be more fun, and I'll post it tomorrow.  =)  Reviews are very nice, hehe.


	9. Challenge

**Challenge**

By kimetara

9th In-game POV

          Well.  It was...interesting, to speak with a fayth, but not exactly enlightening.  What Valefor's fayth told us was cross between the obvious and cryptic.

          It did, however, catch my attention that the fayth seemed to be speaking to Tidus more than any of us.  Even more than to Yuna.  Strange.

          At any rate, we are looking around Besaid now, seeing how the village has been while we were gone.  Not much has changed.  They never do.  In one hour, we will board the airship and be on our way.  All our training and traveling will hopefully span only three days.

          The group has split up.  Wakka went to check on the Aurochs, and Rikku went with him to enjoy the beach.  Yuna and Kimahri are in the temple.  Tidus is at the Crusaders lodge, and I...am at the little overhang.  It's a pretty place, shrouded by greenery.  Beneath me is a pool of water; one of Wakka's favorite ways of reaching the island.  From what I've been told, he pushed Tidus in the first time the blitzer washed up on the beach.

          I'm sitting on the edge, my legs dangling over the side.  My Onion Knight is wandering beside me, poking things with its fuzzy sword.  I love it, which is good, considering the headache I had getting it.

          "Don't fall in."

          I gasp and reflexively whip my head around at the abrupt voice.  Unfortunately, the motion imbalances me and despite the warning, I topple over the side...but not before I catch a glimpse of crimson.  The water closes over my head, and as I sink, there's a small splash in the ripples I've created, and my Onion Knight swims over to me.  I grin at it and wave my hand slightly.  Time for a little payback, hmm?

          _Auron lifted an eyebrow as he peered over the ledge.  The little plush toy had jumped in after its master, and he was now waiting for Lulu to emerge from the water's surface – furious and ranting at him, no doubt._

_          However, as time passed he grew more and more uneasy.  That dress did seem awfully heavy, and with all those belts and metal buckles...  The Onion Knight floated to the surface, and Auron swore under his breath before diving in after her._

          I'm almost beginning to think I'll have to give it up, since the air in my lungs is about to wear out, when I finally see him swimming over to me.  I manage to keep the smirk off my face and pretend to be slowly sinking into the water, my body loose and weightless, my long braids floating around me.

          He wraps an arm around my waist roughly and pulls me to the surface.  I'm about to let go, but decide to hold out just a little longer, my eyes closed and neck relaxed.

          "Damn woman...why do you wear that dress anyway...?" I hear him mutter.  I can feel his fingers flitting over my face, checking for breath.  "Besides practically drowning you it's distracting..."

          "Is it?" I ask.  I would have loved to hear more, but I had to breathe, and I drink the air in greedily.  "And by the way, thank you for the heroic rescue."

          He simply stares at me, then abruptly lets go of my waist.  I flounder for a second before treading water.  I can't help the grin on my face.

          "Why you little...!" he growls at me angrily.  I smirk.

          "Payback.  You know you meant for me to fall in," I inform him lazily, lifting a hand to move my bangs.  The feel of wet hair on skin is slightly aggravating.

          I motion with my hand, and my Onion Knight swims over – after giving Auron a poke in the ribs.  He scowls at my doll, and it just waves its little weapon in his face.  I have to stifle my laughter as I gather it in my arms.  "Come now, Auron," I address him, "you didn't really think I couldn't swim?  I did grow up on this beach, after all."

          He shakes his head.  "I didn't think you could hold your breath for so long."

          "Wakka taught me."  It still amazed me, how blitzball players could hold their breath for a full five minutes – and still play the sport as well.  I could barely manage four, and that's without moving and using up valuable oxygen.  "Impressed?"

          "Very."  A reluctant grin is tugging his features, I know it.  "I underestimated you.  Sorry."

          "Apology accepted."  I lean back in the water, floating.  "Now, what was that about my dress?"

          He only shakes his head.  "Wretch."  He starts swimming towards the shore.

          Oh, so that's how it is, hmm?  I raise an arm, and a small wave sweeps over him, dragging him under and back here.

          Auron breaks the surface five feet away from me, coughing and wiping water from his face.

          "You shouldn't call a lady names," I tease, swimming over slowly.

          "Hmph."  He glares at me.  "Are you going to let me pass or not?"

          "That depends."  Sad to say, I'm enjoying this.  It's fun, riling him up, and I grin mischievously.  "What about my dress?"

          He growls.  "Don't be childish."

          "Why not?"  I swim a little closer.  Now he's only a foot away from me.  I wonder where he got that tear in his coat?  "Tidus was childish, and it quite possibly saved all of us.  What's the harm in giving in a little bit?"

          "This pilgrimage is not over yet."

          I exhale, crossing my arms.  "Don't start on that, Auron.  You were the one that startled _me_ into falling in," I snap.  This is beginning to annoy me.  What's wrong with my dress?

          "My mistake."  I notice now that he's forced to use his right hand to keep him afloat.  Obviously he never learned to eggbeater, as I was doing now.  He must be tiring, especially with that overly large sword strapped to his back.

          I sigh and shake my head.  "Fine," I bite out, before diving and swimming away underwater.  A few of the barracudas try to stop me, but some Water spells disrupt the current pattern enough to keep them away.  It's good I've become so much stronger in my art, or else I might have truly been in trouble – there's a reason Tidus, Wakka, and Rikku are our water fighters.

          When I break the surface for air, he's swimming next to me, apparently waiting.  We finish the swim silently, and climb out of the cove likewise.  I wring the water from my braids and summon a small Fire spell – summon, not cast.  The heat of the restrained spell flows through my body, drying my clothes.

          "Isn't that dangerous?"  I don't even glance up, focusing instead on rearranging my dress.  It's still damp, but in the Besaid sun should dry it fairly quickly.

          "For the inexperienced," I reply coolly.  "It takes a large amount of control and precision.  Otherwise, the blood and body could overheat and cause serious injury."  I shut my mouth now.  I didn't need to explain things to him.

          "You're angry."

          "Congratulations, Sir Auron" is my sarcastic response as I bend down to fix the belts.  My somewhat bangs fall over my face.  The hair is wet, and slightly stringy.  I'll have to redo it all later.

          "It's distracting because of what it...shows," he tells me slowly.  I blink.

          My dress?  "...I didn't know you were like that, Sir Auron," I say, rising slowly.

          He crosses his arms.  "You asked, I answered," he snaps.  "And drop that absurd title.  I get enough of it from Yuna and Wakka."

          "Very well."  I move forward, and he follows me.

          Once at the statue of prayer, I stop and sit down, and my Onion Knight sits next to me.  Auron comes and stands next to me, gazing at some unseen point.  "Is there something you want?" I ask at last, becoming unnerved by his unwavering presence.

          "Yes."

          Unusual, but not unexpected.  "What is it?"

          He doesn't move.  "You know, I was almost disappointed you were breathing when I pulled you out of the water."

          I stand up, outraged.  "What do you mean by that?  Did you want me to be dead?" I demand, my eyes burning with rage.

          "Of course not."  He whirls around to face me, his own brows furrowed in anger.  "Do I have to spell it out for you?  I thought you were observant."

          "Obviously not observant enough," I seethe, placing my hands on my hips.  "What-"

          I'm silenced by his lips on mine.  Gentle, hesitant...my hand reaches up to grab his coat the same moment he pulls away.

          "I was disappointed I didn't have the opportunity to do that."

          I open my mouth, then close it and stare, my bewildered brain trying to work.  "Auron..."

          "Nevermind."  He strides away abruptly, and I'm shocked into motion.  I run forward and grab his shoulder, and he stops, but doesn't turn.

          Great job, Lulu.  Now what?  On a burst of inspiration, I wrap my arms around his waist and twine my fingers together, leaning my head against his back and closing my eyes.  He stiffens, then relaxes and places a hand on top of my clasped ones.

         I could fall asleep here, the warm sun falling down on us, leaning against his strong, firm body.  Mmmhmm...

          "Lulu."  He pulls out of my embrace and turns around to face me.  "I'm sorry.  Forget this."

          I tilt my head to the side, pushing my hurt down for now.  "Why?"

          He looks away.  "You'll know in time," he says to me, then walks away.

          I close my eyes and drop to the ground.  My Onion Knight crawls into my lap, and I hug it fiercely.

AN: Almost done...


	10. Beyond the Darkness

**Beyond the Darkness**

By kimetara

10th In-game POV

          I kept your sword for you.

          I guess you couldn't take it when you left for the Farplane.

          Can't take material possessions.  I know.

          ...why didn't you tell me?

          I can understand why you went.  But why didn't you _tell me_?

          I didn't cry when you left.

          I didn't cry when I saw the pyreflies, didn't cry when you walked past me, didn't cry when Yuna sent you.

          I've learned how to speak with a happy lilt in my voice, without anger or bitterness.  I can smile and encourage, if only for the others' sake.

          I suppose I've become stronger.  But then again...

          They don't know that when I sleep at night, my pillow's wet in the darkness.  They don't know about these moonlight walks on the Besaid shore.

          I want to go to Guadosalam.

          Almost unconsciously, I step into the ocean, the cold waters sweeping over my feet, over the fringe of my dress.  It doesn't matter.  This dress was built for sandy shorelines.

          I stop myself from wading completely into the sea.  I wonder, if I tried, could I swim the way?

          How ridiculous.  I'd drown before I reached Kilika.

          And yet...it has been long enough.

          Six months since the day.  I've kept track.  Of course, everyone has, it was the day Sin was defeated forever.  A memorable holiday.  Too bad it was tainted by two deaths.

          You know what I mean.

          It has been long enough.

          I'm back on the S.S. Liki.  They let me go; I told them there was something I needed to return.

          Besides...they wouldn't have stopped me had I not given any reason at all.  They all saw the look in my eyes.  But an excuse helped their curiosity.

          I suspect they believe I will go to Kilika and come back.  I hope they won't worry when I don't return so quickly.

          I know Yuna won't.  Kimahri or Rikku either.  Wakka...

          He thinks about me too much.  Wakka is always worrying over me.  Lately, I've started finding his concern stifling, and have been snapping at him more than usual.

          I understand why he's so concerned.  I know he's in love with me.  That doesn't mean I reciprocate the feelings.  I know that on that first visit to the Farplane, I considered, but now...well, things have changed.

          Yes.  Spira, for the first time in 1000 years, has changed.  Evolved into a new world.

          Better than the last?  Certainly.  Very few things are worse than a monster destroying lives.  But also still flawed.

          I can see it, the beginning ties of struggles for power.  So faint, but they're growing.  Without the common fear of Sin to unite the people, we are pulling apart, striving for our own accomplishments, to better others in our company.

          It is very sad, to see Spira falling apart.  Sad, yet expected from the human nature.

          Of course, nobody else realizes this, except perhaps for Kimahri and Rikku.  And nobody will realize this for yet another decade, or slightly more, when they truly become adjusted and believe that Sin is gone once and for all.  And then, maybe, minor squabbles will arise, and they will be settled, and then larger arguments will be heard, and they will be stifled, and it will all bubble underneath until it finally boils over.

          And at the first war, the rest of the world will recoil in horror, and then try desperately to return back to the peace of before.  And for a while, things will be better than ever.  And then it will happen again, and it won't cause such a dramatic reaction, and again, and over and over until finally, Spira becomes used to such things, and then the true battles will commence.

          But that will take many, many years.  Hopefully beyond my lifetime.

          I shake my head.  I have had too much time for idle thought, staring over the boat's railing at the ocean.  I descend down into my cabin, the Masamune leaning against my wall.

          Finally.  I'm here.

          I enter Guadosalam.  They hardly glance at me, their eyes listless and thoughts lost.

          Don't be foolish, I want to tell them.  As long as you're alive, you can redeem yourselves.

          But I keep my mouth closed and my nose in my own business, and I pull the Masamune through the underground city.

          "Excuse me, do you need help?" a Guado asks me politely as he sees me struggling with the huge sword.  I nod.

          "Yes.  Thank you."

          "You're welcome."  He takes it, although not easily, but considerably easier than I.  "To the Farplane?"

          "Yes."  I don't ask how he knows, although I suspect that a lifetime of watching people come to say good-bye have intuned these creatures into such matters.  He walks ahead, and I follow.  Up the path, up the stairs, into the bubble.  "This is enough.  Thank you.  Here," I pull my purse out of my pocket.  The Guado shakes his head.

          "It's alright.  We have been trying to atone for our previous misgivings.  We remember you, and hope that you forgive our past mistakes."  He bows to me and leaves.  Perhaps the Guado as not so lost after all.

          Well...here I am.  This is where it started, and this is where it ends.  I call Lady Ginnem first, saving him for last.

          "Hello," I speak softly.  "I...am still not whole, but I have become much closer to who I wish to be.  Are you happy?  I tried my best, to protect Yuna."  I close my eyes.  "I hope...you are at peace."

          My thoughts shift, and when I look up, _he_ appears before me.

          "So...you're really gone, then," I swallow.  His image doesn't move, doesn't flicker.  As strong and solid as ever.  "I knew. I just didn't want to admit it.  That's why I stopped asking you, after Bevelle.  I suppose I hoped that if I never faced it, it wouldn't be true."  I drop my head, the braids sliding softly over my shoulders.  "I...brought your sword."  Yes.  Focus.  I push the sword over the edge, and watch as it disappears into misty clouds.

         "...we never spoke again to each other, after that moment in Besaid.  I'm sorry for that."  I shake my head.  "But I don't regret what happened.  Maybe...it hurts more, knowing what could have been."  I lift my gaze to his form, eyes burning and my chest tight, but there are no tears yet.  "Still, at least for a moment, I had you."

          "Why didn't you tell me?"  I laugh, a strange, twisted sound.  "It all comes back to that, doesn't it?  _Why didn't you tell me?_"  I would have left you alone.  I wouldn't have had to try to figure out what happened here, I wouldn't have tried to talk to you, I wouldn't have started to love you.  And you would not have begun talking to me, would have not have 'practiced'.

          "Why did you talk to me?" I ask now.  "You never believed my excuse for 'practice,' I know."  A pyrefly flits past my eyes as I gaze up at his still form.  Only an image.  "You were selfish," I whisper.

          "You wanted me to love you.  And you wanted to love in return.  You wanted to _feel_."  I remember what you told me on Mt. Gagazet.  "You wanted to be alive."

          "But that tugging from the Farplane never left you; you knew it would never stop trying to pull you in.  And you were tired of constantly fighting it."  _The dead should be allowed to rest._  "So in the end, you knew that when this was all over, you would leave."  And when it seemed that you had succeeded, you achieved the love you wanted, you realized.  "You...never thought I could love you until then, did you?"  What sort of logic is that?  "You set yourself up for a fall and found out that the cliff's edge didn't crumble.  Were you _trying_ to torture yourself?"

          "Or maybe I'm not giving you enough credit," I continue.  "Maybe you knew what you were doing, the entire time.  You always did seem to be planning...giving only enough information as you deemed necessary.  Perhaps you realized that you were slowly pulling me in, even though it was a dead-end street."  Dead-end.  Hah.  "It sounds heartless, but I know you.  Heartlessness is simply another form of your planning."

          Of course, there's no answer.  Most likely, I'll never know.

          "I forgive you."  Selfish...you loved me even when you knew you would not last.  But I forgive you.  "Besides...you have done enough, for all of us.  All of your promises kept, Sir Auron."  I smile painfully and close my eyes.

          _Drop that absurd title._

          My eyes open slowly.  I hadn't expected a response, but I know...it's just a memory.  Still, "Very well."

          Time passes and I don't move, just watching his rippling image.  "...you were always talking about stories and dreams.  But dreams are supposed to come true, and stories have happy endings," I whisper, more to myself than anyone else.  "You were truly a knight out of a fairy tale.  Bold, dashing, courteous and loyal to the extreme.  But the fairy tales always end in 'happily ever after.'  Then again, I suppose I'm no sweet princess, hmm?" I smile again, tears stinging my eyes.  They still won't fall.

          "It doesn't matter now, does it?"  A pyrefly flits past my nose.  "Perhaps you've found your happily ever after.  You have earned it.  As for myself...I know that after the night, morning will always come."

          Still not enough.

          "What do you want from me?!"  The anguished cry bursts from my lips, and for a split second, I'm thankful the Farplane is empty.  "Why won't you let me go?" I plead.

          No response.  There wouldn't be.

          What was I hoping for?  That this, being the miraculous Sir Auron, would somehow enable him to speak with me from the Farplane?  That there would be some sort of miraculous revival?  That maybe giving him back his sword, a piece of the living, would bring him back?

          "This is foolish," I whisper.  "Folly.  Why am I here?"  My voice is rising uncontrollably.  "Why did I come here?  Why am I _always_ pulled here?"

          "It's not fair!"  The childish proclamation screams itself out, and I can feel the pressure in my eyes rising.  "I always lose those important to me.  Every time I start to become close..."  My anger bursts, and I use Flare on that floating image of him.  It scatters, then reforms, almost as if mocking my efforts.  Pyreflies flit wildly around my face, blowing my bangs gently back, and shame fills me.  I wrap my arms around my stomach, weeping.

          "I'm sorry."

          I stand there and cry silently, tears making their slow path down my face, my head bowed.  Eventually, they slow and fade away, and I wipe my eyes dry.  "I'm being selfish now," I say quietly.  "I know there are others that have lost even more than I.  What's gone is gone."  I face him and lift my chin.  "I have already learned how to move on, many times over.  With my parents, with Lady Ginnem, with Chappu, and even with Sin.  I hope that you will be my last tragedy," I address him coolly, my walls firmly in place.

          _You bury it deep within yourself, but it's eating away at you.  Let it go sometime, Lulu._

          "I remember.  Is that you want?"  I lift a hand to my forehead.  "You just...won't make this easy, will you Auron?  You always did complicate things."

          I sigh and spread my arms.  "There is nothing to let go," I tell him simply.  "I have buried and hidden for so long, that it what there is.  I can't make myself let go anymore.  I don't know how."  You could have done that for me.  
          ...but you're not.  You're not going to jump out and help me, you're not going to come and soothe my pain away.  You're not even going to speak to me.  It doesn't matter that we helped to save the world, you and I.  It doesn't mean I'll be receiving special treatment, that I'll be gifted with a miracle.

          A pyrefly brushes past my cheek.  "I know.  I made a promise," I sigh.  "And you've always kept your promises.  I'll keep mine.  I'll find a way."  I smile now, wistfully, but without bitterness, without pain.  "I think...this will be my last visit, at least for a long while.  Good-bye, Auron."

          I turn around and walk slowly out of the Farplane, down the steps, and out of Guadosalam.

AN: In retrospect, I'm fairly certain Lulu knew ahead of time that Auron was an unsent (due to her protest of "Not now!" at the end), along with Yuna, Kimahri, and Tidus.  But, this was written before I came to that realization, so...yes.  Sorry about that.

And...no real "action" or sap in this fic, heh.  Again, sorry for any disappointment.  Epilogue's only thing left...


	11. Epilogue: Creed

**Epilogue: Creed**

By kimetara

11th In-game POV

          I step down off the S. S. Liki and onto the port of Besaid.  After a moment of consideration, I bend over and take my boots off, enjoying the feel of warm sand beneath my feet.

          I happened to come at sunset, and the beach is fairly empty.  I carry my boots and shuffle through the sand, smiling slightly.  It's good to be back.

          "Hey, Lu!"

          I turn around and shield my eyes from the sun's glare.  I can see Wakka running up from the ocean shore.  "Hey."  I give a small wave.

          He stops in front of me, arms wide as if he's about to give me a hug, but restrains himself.  "So...uh...how was your trip?"

          I laugh softly to myself and wrap my arms around him before pulling back.  He looks completely baffled.  How amusing.  "It was...soothing.  And how has Besaid been?"

          "Good."  He's eyeing me critically.

          "What is it?" I ask.  He shrugs and shakes his head.

          "Nothing.  But you look a lot...better.  Happier, you know?"

          I smile.  Funny, smiles have been coming to me more and more easily.  Real ones.  "Yes."

          He kicks the sand in front of him, and I wait.  It'll come out eventually.  "Uh...how was Sir Auron?"

          I blink.  "How did you-"

          "Aw, c'mon!  Gimme a little credit, ya?"  Wakka grins.  "You think I can't tell when my best friend's got a crush?"

          "It was not a...crush," I reply coldly.  He looks regretful.

          "Sorry.  You know what I mean," he mumbles, putting a hand behind his head.  I sigh; he hasn't changed at all.

          Not that that's a bad thing.

          "I know.  And Auron...seems to be doing well.  He's in the Farplane."

          Wakka nods.  "That's good.  So...wanna go see Yuna and Kimahri?"

          "In a moment."  I sit down on the sand, setting my boots beside me.  Wakka sits on my other side and hesitantly slings an arm around my shoulder, and I lean into him as we watch the sunset.  It's an old tradition, one that I haven't kept going since Chappu died.  But I've become stronger since then; it's time to leave this part of my past.

          This chapter of mine will end as the sun goes down.

AN: Whew, all done!  Just wondering, did anybody notice where the titles came from?  *looks around*  The music spheres, lol. 

Little too short?  (That's what the game felt like...grrr...)  But don't worry, I'm planning a Lulu/Auron AU fic...hopefully soon.  Just need to come up with a decent plot...well, thanks to everybody that reviewed!  (Especially Jack of Spades; your fic played a large role in my interest of the Lulu/Auron couple!)


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